An Expert Opinion

1DOS caught the attention of PhD psychologist Jonathan Fraser-Lindsay.  Here is what he had to say about the team:

One thing that I’ve always noticed about people is how much we want to do things for ourselves.  Feel good about our own accomplishments.  Find confidence in our own skills.  Know that if we do it, it’ll be done right.  Maybe it’s the “pick myself up by the bootstraps” American thinking.  Or maybe it’s something good and healthy inside that knows we are each capable.  We can each contribute something unique to the world.

I love this about humans.  But I often encounter a danger in it.  People push away help as a sign of weakness.  They step out of community for fear of not being enough.  We make demands of ourselves that we would never make of someone else, especially those we love.

People bring a lot of these concerns to me when they struggle, be it with mental wellness, physical health, or when healing from sickness or injury.  They criticize themselves and make every effort harder just because they demand they never fail.  Or, sometimes, believe all they can do is fail.

At the same time, people often talk to me about special people in their lives: maybe a coach or a spiritual adviser or even a counselor they trusted.  These people often see something in themselves that they can’t see.  Maybe that trusted someone sees power or energy or skill that I can’t see in myself.  Maybe they can gently let me know that my struggle is real; that I’m not just complaining and weak.  Maybe they show me a path I didn’t realize I could take.

Most of us seem to have this story, but sadly it’s a lot more common to hear about all the people and programs and well-meaning strangers that just tell you what you need and they never even met you.  Reminds me of the doctors who pop into the exam room for five minutes, reach the nurses notes and pronounce the miracle cure.  Or the counselors who listen for twenty minutes and then expound upon the thing that’s gonna make you what they assume you want to be.  Or the fitness instructors who hand you a four-week plan cause, hey, isn’t every human body the same?

Just as it is beautiful to see each human give of their uniqueness to each other, it is beautiful to see such gifts received.  And we all need to receive the gifts of others, be in through insight or encouragement or understanding and acceptance.  Really, the human species is built to be a collective, interactive whole.  Demanding we “bootstrap” through our struggles was really never the point of humanity.  I’ll help you; you’ll help me.  Skyscrapers cannot be built by a single person.  And aren’t we each so much, much more?

As a psychologist, I have been thrilled and excited to see the kind of work and support 1DOS offers to its community, be it one-on-one encouragement, plans and ideas to get us out of the stuck point we’re in right now, or connecting us to a community that can be with us exactly where we are without demanding we be something we aren’t—whether that’s more fit or less.  I endorse the approach of 1DOS both personally and professionally; it’s exactly the sort of thing I see succeed time and time again be it the problem of fitness or mental health or even overcoming financial and social problems.  This stuff works, all you have to do is be willing to be part of it.

Oh, and you can be sure my opinion isn’t just based on my personal experience.  Studies going back decades (but also as recent at 2017) consistently report higher levels of motivation for individuals emotionally connected to those who support their activities, especially when intrinsic motivation is struggling (in other words, people stay motivated longer when supported by friends and family, especially when they start wanting to give up).  And studies are consistent that being emotionally connected to someone who supports you is key, whether that’s a parent, extended family, or dear friends.  Same is true, even when money is exchanged.  Counselors, for instance, who fail to emotionally connect with their clients help very few people even if using the best modern techniques.  And doctors who stay long enough to listen and empathize instead of running in and out of the exam room have a lot more healthy patients.  You might have noticed a little of that yourself.

So, for that reason (and lots of additional scientifically validated ones), I’d like to one more time endorse 1DOS, its mission, and its approach to helping you find the lifestyle you need at your pace.  Sometimes they’re going to tell you to push a little further.  Sometimes they’ll let you know they understand just how hard it really is.  And it’ll be because they’re paying attention to YOU, not just expecting you to be another generic human.

 

Best wishes in this life,

 

Jonathan M. Fraser-Lindsey, PhD, LCPC